simplerbox | Hot hackers, they're just like you but they're hot!

[She stopped bristling after the third time they co-coded, because let's be real here, he was a badass motherfucker at it. Her haxxor skills were great but his skills made her skills want to lie down on a bed and wink seductively and expose their belly or something. Whatever.

She's got the bracket out of there before he even finishes the word, and carries on, fingers sweeping over her keyboard. This is hella exciting.]

Yes, mister Miyagi.

That's 'mister Captor'.

[Look at that reference go flying in a perfect arc over his horns. He's cooler than any human she could be referring too anyway, or he feels like it now as he taps the screen again.]

Typo and use recursion, doesn't matter if a virus chews up all the memory.

Oh my god, no. There's no way I'm calling you that, it sounds like something out of CLAMP.

[Check, double check, correct; okay it's getting slightly irritating. SLIGHTLY IRRITATING, SOLLUX.] Don't you have your own codes to do?

[Yeah, he does. He's stuck. Give him a day and he might get her to eyeball some of it.]

Finished them.

[He runs his fingers under a whole line.]

You realise this is superfluous and sloppy, right? [It's not strictly sloppy, more about style, but if it's not how he would do it then it's wrong. And she won't call him mister Captor.]

Do some more! [She swats his hand away.] Stop picking on my codes, they do their job just fine. I might not have a brain wired for steering ships and planets but Lalonde codes are still badass motherfuckers.

[Ouch, her hand has some sting to it, but he's still eyeing up her code and snickers.] That's why you typoed count, right?

[Immature typos are universal.]

[She is just going to stare at the screen for a while.

And then.

Move her cursor up.

And delete.

The O.]

[He snorts, she might be funny. Might.]

That won't get your code done.

[Because he's helping so much like this.]

Maybe I don't want to finish it! I've been coding for two hours, Solly. [She slumps back with a groan.] When I asked what you did for fun around here and you told me hacker shit, I thought it'd be more hey let me show you everyone's browser history, not let me breathe on your neck and point out everything you do is wrong.

[He blinks.] If you'd said something I could have sent you the app for that already. Kk searched for human bulges the other day but wussed out while the page was loading. Which is typical.

And there were like, two things you did right. [That's more than most people get.]

[So. Done. With. You. And your hot butt.] I don't want the app for it, I wanna have fun with my best code crackin' friend, except wait, he's also a horrible d-bag.

Hey, come closer, I want to whisper something in your ear. [Two things she did right HER HOT ASS. She yanks him down and proceeds to deliver a noogie.]

[Coding for hours on hours doesn't make for good noogie resistance. It makes for spectacularly shit noogie resistance. It's at level 0.5 when her noogie-ing is at least a 7, maybe an 8.]

Hey - oi - fuck you. [Nine, totally a level nine noogie.]

[Does it help that she's swivelled around in her chair and he's not basically having his face smushed to her tits while she's rubbing the hell out of the head on top of his shoulders? Woudl it help?]

Hahaha, no way, I bet you'd have critique for that too, you little shit.

[Help what? Being able to form sentences? Yeah, he's so on that.] Yeah, I have [Boobs.] fucking textbooks [Boobs in face and they're boobs he has tried to subtly admire and they are touching him. He flails elegantly.] of how to get your pail on. [Is this supposed to be a punishment?]

[He flails like a fucking dying bee. But yeah, that's elegance and class for you!! At least no matter how elegant his codes are she'll always have advantage here. Somewhat.

Until she realises where his head/face is at, and lets go. Even shoves him away like a joke because ha ha ha that's what pals do right.] Rules are stupid.

[He goes when he's pushed back, bit flushed, bit out of breath, but that's what happens when you get noogies and your resistance is the pits.] Just the ones you can't break.

[Backing off into his own seat he coasts back on its wheels.] Want to test my latest way to get through Kk's firewalls and blow up his machine?

Uh, yeah! [She nudges his chair with hers, laughing lightly as she settles back to watch. And observe. Probably everything he does with a microscopic attention to details. To get even, you know.

Touch has strangely not become an issue for someone who grew up as alone as an orphan troll; one would expect her not to initiate it so easy-goingly, but here she is anyway. Her hand somehow ends up between his back and the chair, fingers tapping a kind of rhythm to it.]

[Hand on his back. That's cool. Tapping is kind of throwing off his typing though, just out of sync with every second one of his keystrokes.]

Just hang on a sec...

[It's just the tail end of a rewrite, he'd had this way in sorted when he did the last one, tweaked just enough to bypass the sloppy firewalls he put up.

Finally he clicks his finger down onto the run button and alt tabs over to the viewport app he wrote when everyone proved that they couldn't be trusted to mind their own shit.

The view from Karkat's webcam lights up on screen.]

Rigged it so it runs on main power even when his tower is in smithereens. Shouldn't take long.

[Yep, hand on his back. Yep, she's doing it on purpose, so he knows that he's ten times worse when he hovers and it's his pressence which causes her to botch up in the first place!

She leans back into her chair and watches a whole lot of nothing happen.]

Waiting it kind of boring.

[He could rewrite it so Karkat doesn't actually have to be there to trigger the virus. But that would be boring. So they have to wait. Or, he's decided they have to wait and he's not fucking budging once he's decided something.]

Only if you can't think of anything to do.

[He pauses, looks over his shoulder. Opens his mouth to say "can you?" but closes it instead. He turns back, and slowly opens grubsweeper, clicking on one square and carefully marking another as a bad grub.]

[Can she think of something to do? She could think of a few things that she'd like to do, but the success of those intentions vary with how into fooling around he is at that moment. Hackers gotta hack all good plans, to be honest.

Still, she'll just do the subtle thing and - slip her hand up his shirt and count his spine knobs one by one - because to also be honest, she's never sure. Or rather, she's almost always sure that this'll just end up being like Dirk Strider 2.0. Only he'll probably turn out to only like trolls, instead of dicks.] A few things.

[That's subtle? Okay, well. Maybe it's subtle for her. Roxy seems to be like the type would would flash her shameglobes at anyone she wanted if she wasn't being subtle.

He does his best not to arch his back - fails miserably. Catches himself before he swears about it at least.]

That's not very detailed.

[He tries to be a good guy but he'd have to have been an idiot not to notice that Roxy is on the pretty side - or not so much on the pretty side as the totally banging and pretty spectacular side. And he thinks she's hot, too. But tries to be a good guy about it.]

[He should definitely arch his back a little more and he shouldn't repress all those feelings! Repression is bad.

For example, like right now, she's repressing making the suggestion of 'hey do you want to make out' and taking her hand back out from under his shirt and leaning forward again in her chair.

Wimpy.]

Wanna play tic-tac-toe?

No. [Wait. Polite.] Thanks.

That game is shit.

[Where did her fingers go? Why did her fingers go? Figures he'd have fucked it up already. Or misinterpreted human cues.

He twists around on his chair.]

You usually play it?

[Bullshit does she play it.] All the time. [On her own.]

We could make bets on clothes. [Yeah. Yeah, let's make a complete fool of ourselves again, Roxy. Hit it.]

[He's got the pen and paper out in a flash as soon as the loaded moments where he tries to work out exactly what she means by that. Of course he's going to agree to strip noughts and crosses.

He hastily draws the four lines required and slaps a nought in the centre.]

Bring it.

[WELL THAT WAS A FAST REACTION...okay. She leans over and draws her cross wherever. There is no losing in strip three in a row. She could gauge out his reaction if she takes off her shirt, and - she's pretty sure he's hot under his as well, so hey. Yeah.

Game on.]

[He's not sure of his hotness but she suggested it so he doesn't feel bad taking the first move.]

What happens if there's a draw?

[He puts a cross in the corner, right next to hers.]

I don't know, we both lose something? [Don't expect me to actually play off a game of three in a row, Iona.]

[He straightens up and tries to look attractive, if he's getting naked eventually he'd better try and make a good impression with his clothes on.]

Sure. [He gives her a bit of a smile.] Guess you didn't realise you challenged the master?

Sollux, you call yourself the master of something new like twice a day. [Squeezes another O in there, rolling her eyes - and taking a appreciative look of his physique too, let's be real.]

Leave some for the kids.

The kids can fucking earn it.

[He slaps down an X.]

The bar for being the master is set so low anyone could be the master if they even bothered to say 'hey yeah, I'm the master now, make a fucking line'.

Such a troll. [No nurture and love for these guys.

So, needless to say - she's not going to be mercifull at this. First shirt to come off will definitely be his.]

[One of his shoulders jerks in an uncomfortable half shrug. He's not sure if he's ever been compared to the troll ideal before. Not compared to and passed the mark.]

The horns don't exactly detach.

What a shame, because I've an affinity for yours.

[Another O.] Do you have two pairs because you're an extra-horny asshole?

[He places another X] That's a stupid fucking quest- [Wait. Hang on. This isn't right.

They're sitting down playing strip noughts and crosses.

And she's complimenting his horns.

That's flirting. Right. Human flirting is kind of weird but still actual flirting with the human girl, not her jerking his chain. He slaps himself on the forehead.]-ion.

Horny means lots of horns, doesn't it?

[He's pretty sure he got that right and angles his head down a bit towards her.] Want to touch?

[She doesn't say yeah I do, she just inches her chair closer and lifts her hand to run her fingers along the shape of each horn. They're really cool.

He's really pretty.] Horny means a lot of things.

[He breathes deep, stays calm. Someone touching his horns is always fucking weird, he can just feel it with the way she's tracing them, it's like if someone was playing with his toes underwater, or some other stupid fucking thing.]

That's kind of vague, you could let me into this big secret of horniness.

[She decides to take her time with this, take advantage of what could be a singular opportunity to touch those candycorn things. Runs her fingertips along the outer-shape, tracing each other very carefully.]

Mm, well. It can also mean being turned on.

[His face snaps into bright mustard territory. He might have managed to keep it together better but the dainty way she's running her fingers over his horns is more suggestive than it should be. Fucking humans with their weird, shitty sex terms.]

Why the fuck would it mean that.

I've no idea! [She was born in the future how the fuck would she know? She knows more about buckets and bulges than about vocabulary related to human sex, but you know - an object of her own culture.]

Maybe it's because in the wilderness, some beasts have horns. And when they're competing for a hot lady's choice ass, they bump horns together. So the hornier they are, the more likely to get laid. Are these sensitive?

[He shrugs.] I can feel it, it's kind of like ears. [Yes, Sollux. Of course she knows what you mean there.] You know ears. [Maybe he can be forgiven, he's got a hot girl's hand on his horns. Make anyone lose their cool.

He clears his throat.] Want to skip the noughts and crosses?

[He couldn't possibly be actually getting horny because of her, right? This is Sollux! He's a dick who let's her express that he's a dick and allows touch to happen but it's probably with the same intention as Dirk. Probably a 'oh, let silly Roxy do her silly things, I guess' sort of feeling. Still...

Her voice is surprisingly low when she answers, her other hand raised to run her fingertip along the shape of his ear, to gouge the difference between one and the other.] You scared I'll kick you ass and you'll have to get naked in front of me?

[No, ears are better. That was a stupid comparison. Fuck, she must think he's stupid now and with heat creeping from his cheeks into his ears he has no way of proving to her that's crap. It might not be crap. He laughs a little, fuck if he knows whether it's at her touches or her words, one thing it isn't is at her.]

Oh yeah sure because I have to worry about losing a game like that. A game that wigglers can dissect and understand totally before they're close to pupation. [He clears his throat which seems to have filled with something that sure as hell wasn't there before.] It would be more efficient.

[She pauses for a moment, hands on his ear and his horns, and thinks about why he told her to skip on the game. Does he want to just get naked as it is?? Maybe he thinks it's a human way of bonding but Roxy wants more substance than a few coding dates and noogies.

Aight, time to get real in this business..] Listen, Sollux, I think you're hot. Not in the sense that you've got a fever, but in the sense that I'd like to take you on dates and shove my tongue in your mouth. But I've done this whole pining hopelessly for years thing a few times before, and I'm sick of beating about the bush by now so just let me know if you're not interested. Okay?

[He'd thought he was blushing before. He'd thought he was blushing as hard as he could possibly blush. He feels like seven kinds of moron.

The pen still in his hand taps against the paper in a nervous gesture.]

No. [Pause, recalculates.] Wait-

Shit. Yes.

[Okay, mustard draining, he's not sure why she could find him attractive but he's always known humans were weird. He's got some composure to call his own again.]

I'm interested. You're hot and pretty smart [he leaves off "for a human". He'd be talking crap but just now he's not sure she'd realise that], what kind of dates are we talking? [He'd get clarification on the tongue in mouth too but he's pretty sure there's only one type of that.]

[Whoa, rollercoaster of reactions. No, wait, shit, yes. Finally she grins really widely. He called her hot. And pretty smart. Probably 'for a human', by his standards, but she'll take a guy who can appreciate her brain and her bod any day.]

Hrm, I don't know I've never been on one. What kind would you like?

[His shoulders jerk, he thought she was hot before, grinning like that she knocks it out of the water and it's destroying the scrap of coordination he has left.]

No, shit, I mean, [god damn it, talking to humans: way harder than talking to girls,] black or red or... [he trails off, cursing himself, last thing he wants is for her to turn around and say "oh yeah I really want to pap your face not stick my tongue in it".]

Hot hackers, they're just like you but they're hot!

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this feels oddly <3< at times

yes, I ship it as a red black mush because there's bound to be hate with backseat coding

basically. i hope you realise that they dissemble computers in their underwear

course, well, roxy does, sollux is better at the typing code and he gets distracted by boobs easily

boobs you say

o///o boobth

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