Play with me

[simpleruser]

1. go here
2. pick a character
3. reply with character request in the subject line, build up a scene of your preference (tl;dr, au, canon, crack, short, I don't even mind)
4. I will bang it like a heavy metal band

(shamelessly ganked from the lovely sugartits)

Comments

[l1ck1ng]

We eat our weaker grubs, dumb dumb. Different kind of eating I was talking about.

[fetidmustard]

Alternate definition for 'eating' not found on file. Please submit a linguistics report by the next night.

Pupation causes toxins to form rendering troll flesh not recommended for ingestion. Grubs contain vital nutrients for stimulating growth.

[l1ck1ng]

Nevermind, conscript. Nevermind. [Never ever innuendoing at him again. Sigh.]

[fetidmustard]

Withholding information is unjust.

[l1ck1ng]

Bringing up justice is unjust.

[fetidmustard]

[He mouths some words, it's a struggle sure enough but what comes out after the proper processing time is:] Your lusus is unjust.

[l1ck1ng]

[Must he zone in on the unhatched dead lusus? Really?] Your bulge is unjust.

[fetidmustard]

Negative. The alignment of Sollux Captor's Bulge is true neutral. [Sometimes small jokes from before their lives began rotting sift through to be archived. Junk alignment is one such factoid.]

[l1ck1ng]

Your bulge is like the bulge of Lady Justice, then. True neutral, unalligned. Whapping crime into submission.

[fetidmustard]

Negative. Injuries recorded through bulge whapping approximate seventy. Speculation and noted rumours have it above five hundred. Bulge design is not optimal for whapping.

[l1ck1ng]

You lost all your imagination and it sucks. [Don't make her whap you with hers, because well - it's right there.]

[fetidmustard]

Affirmative.

[If he could feel guilt he'd be feeling it now. And there is a small spark that is guilty. It's just not connected to anything else, certainly nothing that could convey it to her.]